How I went solo!
Some 20 years ago, I fell out with a friend and then broke up with a boyfriend so decided to take myself off somewhere. Quite the drama, but this is how I became a girl solo traveller in a nutshell!
The Maldives
First solo trip abroad, a week in the Maldives! Flying over the picture perfect islands straight off the cover of Conde Nast!
- Sat on a beach contemplating life.
- Stood in the Indian Ocean eating a Bounty chocolate bar (growing up in England the TV adverts for Bounty symbolised paradise. I had that image with me and took one for the trip!).
Bliss as it was, a week was enough. The motto of the island “no shoes no news”, perfect way to forget about life back in London for a while.
All the single ladies (cue Beyonce!). The staff would seat all the “single” female guests on the same table every night for dinner! One of the women was avoiding the large tax bill she had waiting for her back home. How to avoid the taxman? literally bury your head in the sand!
Cuba
Anyway, I was hooked! Loved the freedom of escaping off on my own, doing my thing. Came back, booked a two week trip to Cuba! Cuba 20 years ago was awesome. Prostitution was quite high back then. I mention this for a reason.
I’d arranged to meet a friend and waited on the corner of the street outside my hotel. A police car pulled up, my heart stopped! I tried to explain in my non existent Spanish to the policeman that I’m on holiday and waiting for a friend (and not who you think I am)! Luckily my friend showed up in the nick of time. The “you are allowed one phone call” came to mind, hmmm didn’t want to call the British Embassy.
I’ve learnt to be aware of local “customs” over the years!
A sad thing that stuck with me about Cuba, were the ration stores. I was in disbelief. Very little on the shelves, people queuing with tickets. I felt humbled and privileged, realising what life was like politically and economically for Cubans. Quite the eye opener. At the beginning of the trip I did wonder why women were asking me for soap and shampoo.
I remember another time the hotel staff were quite rude to me, as they didn’t want to serve who they assumed was a Cuban. Interesting times and interesting experiences. It’s surprising what you remember all these years later.
These trips were my first and I’ve been on solo trips every year since.
My background
I come from a South Asian family and had a religious upbringing. I was raised in the North of England and we lived within a tight community. Life was suffocating at times, with a future mapped out for me. Like so many girls from my community, get married and have kids. Where I got the notion to go off and do my own thing still surprises me to this day. If I hadn’t broken the boundaries and left home when I did I would not have had so many amazing experiences.
It takes guts to escape your limits. If you know there is something stirring inside of you and act on it, you will be amazed where life will take you.
From top left down: Cotopaxi volcano; with my sponsor child and his family; sat in the clouds – Cotopaxi; our lodge in the Amazon rainforest; admiring the view of Cotopaxi National Park; Banos; and La Casa del Arbol – Banos (swing from the treehouse into the clouds!)
Travelling style
I’ve not been a backpacker and the first time I stayed in a hostel was in March, when I was volunteering in Ecuador. Never done the Irish pub hang out thing, where you meet other travellers. So the things you associate with travellers/backpackers I didn’t do because I wasn’t aware of them. I did my travelling while holding down full time jobs.
Girl solo travellers are nothing new but when I started out I didn’t encounter many and certainly not from my ethnic background, so I really stood out.
My style has evolved from organised trips, to group tours, to treks, to going off the beaten track, to being with nature. A special mention to the compost loo in Ecuador which was pretty cool (as toilets go!). I’ve never been on an all-inclusive nor on a cruise, neither appealed. Having said that, the only cruise worth doing is to Antarctica, which is on the wish list!
Guatemala
I’ve stayed in boutique hotels, “roughed” it (compared to Western standards), slept outdoors and in local homestays to name a few. I love the unique and quirky. It’s all about immersing yourself in the local culture.
From top left down: Mount Toubkal Trek – Morocco; the Galapogas islands; getting ready to paraglide in Cape Town; abandoned soon after, no wind!; day safari Cape Town; and a very windy Cape Point!
The pros and cons
People love to put you into categories. I sparked their curiosity and fell into one of three types:
- Billy no mates.
- Good time girl.
- You go girl! (personal favourite and the truest).
At the beginning I did feel a bit awkward and “Billy no mates”. It was strange eating alone and at times being stared at! I didn’t like the innuendos that came with “good time girl”. But I stuck with the awkwardness and icky feelings and as my confidence grew put more of myself into my trips and encounters. In turn, I’ve made some amazing friends and had some awesome experiences over the years.
Bolivia
Safety
I’m petite and don’t look like I could handle myself, but I can. I’ve learnt to be street savvy. Having lived in London for 10 years helped my confidence no end. Naive at the beginning, learnt as I went along.
Have your wits about you girls. Travel smart, responsibly and still have fun! Not to nag, watch what you wear, how you carry yourself and who you accept drinks from. Listen to your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, get out.
Don’t offend. Do your research about the country, the do’s, the don’t and especially the local customs.
The usual wherever you are in the world. You wouldn’t put yourself in harm’s way at home so don’t put yourself at risk abroad. It’s easy to get sucked into a rose tinted bubble when travelling, everything is exciting and sometimes common sense goes out of the window, cue Cuba!
Left: Sorrento. Right: Prague.
Go for it!
Don’t pigeonhole yourself. Do it all. Do it your way. Your travelling style will evolve as you do. Step out of your comfort zone. Learn about yourself and life. Whether you’re starting out on your girl solo traveller journey or wanting to shake things up, there is so much out there that you’re never short of inspiration or new ideas!
I’m always looking for new travel experiences and in March of this year, I fulfilled a dream, I went on an international volunteering vacation. Spent a life changing month in Quito, Ecuador.
Travelling is my passion, if you’re reading this, it’s probably yours too. Hey look at me now, I have a travel blog, who knows where this could lead!
Next year – watch this space…
Happy travelling peeps!
Travel Beyond The Ordinary
Koser ♡
